i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
