oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
