my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
