seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
