Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
