I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
