he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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