it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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