you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
