batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
