so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
