can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
