5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
