Me too!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
