dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
