Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
