She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Never joke about your clitoris.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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