i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
