am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
