Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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