If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
