Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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