D3 body, D1 cock
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
