I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
