His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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