I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
