waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
