I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
