Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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