i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
