We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
