Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
