The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
