respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
