i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think my moral compass just broke
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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