We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My ATM looks so different sober.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
