THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
