OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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