we have officially lost it.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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