Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
