you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
