Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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