She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
