You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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