oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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