Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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