Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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