they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
