when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
