He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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