He is such a slut. More and more my type.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
