we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm too high and old for this...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
