i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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