I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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