no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
