there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
