it's like iHOP with fire
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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