College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
