like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
